I Know I'm a Dork
by Azure K Mello
Summary: COMPLETE! !Spike likes punk. Xander likes cartoons. SLASH


In Reply to Challenge the Second: I Know I'm a Dork but he Loves me Anyway.  
  
Spoiler: none  
  
Author: Azure K Mello  
  
Pairing: S/X  
  
Rating: R  
  
Distribution- ask and you shall receive.  
  
Time frame: post chip  
  
Disclaimer: none of it's mine. But I do own a cat named Leo who was named for the character in the below stated show. My brother was five when we got Leo, he's now 22. . . the cat's old. I also have six of the turtles they sell in China Town in the buckets to make soup with. They started out the size of a quart now they're each the size of sandwiches made from Wonder bread. The song belongs to The Turtles.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
I could feel his eyes on the back of my head. It made me uncomfortable. He's scrutinizing gaze always made me feel itchy. Someday he was bound to find a floor and leave me. Maybe he has now.  
"Pet,' he said softly as he got up and came to sit behind me. "Why are we watching the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?"  
"I like the turtles!" I replied.  
"Put aside the fact that it's a children's cartoon for a moment. I won't judge it for that. But you do realize they take orders from a rat, right? That doesn't upset you? That they can't even think for themselves. I mean even your friends the scoobies sometimes do things with out the Slayer or Watcher. Doesn't it worry you that the fate of New York lays with three freaky amphibians who can't think for themselves?"  
"Four." I said as though that won the argument. "There's four turtles and they don't need Splinter he just helps them. . . like a splint."  
He kissed and nibbled my neck as he wrapped his arms around me. "It's a damn good thing I love you. As it is 'dorky sci-fi Xander' kinda does it for me."  
"Shut up, Spike." I said but leaned back into his embrace. This closeness was all new to me I'd never been this intimate with someone I was intimate with. We sat in companionable silence watching the show. Occasionally Spike he throw in some insult about it being unrealistic crap to which I answer was, "well yeah. That's why it's good. If it were realistic they would be sold in China Town for soup."  
There was a brief silence and then, "Can I fuck you now?"  
"I'm trying to follow the plot and while it's not the least bit convoluted your mindless prattle is making it so I can't and I'm starting to feel like an idiot."  
"'Convoluted. . . mindless prattle'? you've been spending too much time with the Watcher. I'm trying to shag you senseless and you're talking about a kiddy show." He said sounding put out.  
As he got up and walked away I went back to the show. I've found that ignoring Spike when he's being dramatic is the only way to go. The sound of one of his punk stations blared out of the stereo, how very mature, Spike. Why am I in love with such a child? He muttered about the band playing sucked. But he thought that about any punk post eighty's so I don't know why he bothers with the radio at all.  
A song that he liked must have come on as he said, "Oh nice. Don't get me wrong, the band is awful but what a great song!"  
I vaguely knew the song and so I choose to stroke the "experts" ego and asked. "What is this?"  
"This is New Found Glory, a band that sucks, covering one of the greatest love songs ever." He started to sing softly as he came to kneel in front of me. "Imagine me and you, I do I think about you day and night, it's only right. To think about the one you love and hold them tight.So happy together. If I should call you up, invest a dime. And you say you belong to me and ease my mind."  
Laughing I whispaered "Yours."  
Standing he pulled me into a close imbrace, a slow dance to the fast loud punk song. "Imagine how the world could be, so very fine. So happy together. I can't see me lovin' nobody but you. For all my life. When you're with me, baby the skies'll be blue.For all my life."  
"I hope they're cloudy with no visable sun." I joked softly.  
He bite my neck softly but never stoped singing. "Me and you and you and me. No matter how they toss the dice, it has to be. The only one for me is you, and you for me. So happy together. I can't see me lovin' nobody but you. For all my life. When you're with me, baby the skies'll be blue. For all my life. Me and you and you and me. No matter how they toss the dice, it has to be. The only one for me is you, and you for me. So happy together." As the song went into "ba-ba-ba's" Spike paused his singing and instead claimed my mouth. I remembered damn well why I loved him then. Forget his childish bouts of rage and sulleness. I was his. And damn was he a romantic sometimes. My William.The words came back and his mouth left mine. "Me and you and you and me. No matter how they toss the dice, it has to be. The only one for me is you, and you for me. So happy together. So happy together. How is the weather. So happy together. We're happy together. So happy together. Happy together. So happy together. So happy together."  
"You are so fucking cute."  
"I'm the Big Bad!" he said indignantly.  
"The Big Bad who sings punk covers to me in the basement?"  
"Only for you, Pet." He kissed me with bruising force and I tasted blood wheather mine or his I didn't care. "Can I fuck you now?" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Challenge the Second  
  
1) Any Xander pairing  
  
2) Any rating  
  
3) First person point of view from any character not neccesarily one of the coupling.  
  
4) At least 500 words not including lyrics.  
  
5) Must use these lyrics in some way: quoted, thought, placed at the beginning, interspersed, whatever be creative.  
  
6) Either complete angst or totally flufy- no gray areas.  
  
7) the statment: "I like the turtles!" must be made by someone, if it's in reference to the song is wholly up to you.  
  
The Turtles- So Happy Together  
  
Imagine me and you, I do  
  
I think about you day and night, it's only right  
  
To think about the one you love and hold her tight  
  
So happy together  
  
If I should call you up, invest a dime  
  
And you say you belong to me and ease my mind  
  
Imagine how the world could be, so very fine  
  
So happy together  
  
I can't see me lovin' nobody but you  
  
For all my life  
  
When you're with me, baby the skies'll be blue  
  
For all my life  
  
Me and you and you and me  
  
No matter how they toss the dice, it has to be  
  
The only one for me is you, and you for me  
  
So happy together  
  
I can't see me lovin' nobody but you  
  
For all my life  
  
When you're with me, baby the skies'll be blue  
  
For all my life  
  
Me and you and you and me  
  
No matter how they toss the dice, it has to be  
  
The only one for me is you, and you for me  
  
So happy together  
  
Ba-ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba-ba  
  
Ba-ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba-ba  
  
Me and you and you and me  
  
No matter how they toss the dice, it has to be  
  
The only one for me is you, and you for me  
  
So happy together  
  
So happy together  
  
How is the weather  
  
So happy together  
  
We're happy together  
  
So happy together  
  
Happy together  
  
So happy together  
  
So happy together (ba-ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba-ba) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ find this and other challenges at 


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